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How to Deal With a Difficult Partner

Anyone who has been in a relationship, whether short- or long-term, can tell you that no two people get along perfectly. Everyone has their own wants, needs, and opinions, which may not always be the same as or may even be in direct conflict with their partner’s.

Most of the time, it takes a little empathy to open up and understand the other side. Though some arguing among couples is common and usually normal, some might find themselves to be in a relationship with someone who turns out to be difficult to deal with.

You’ve heard the saying, “It takes two to tango”. Knowing how to develop open communication between you and your partner/spouse will help you to negotiate a compromise and get you back on the road to happiness. But when you’re the only one dancing, how do you talk to your partner to dance with you? Here are a few ways you can do this:

1. Improve communication

Choosing and preparing what you want to say to your partner is a great way to make sure that you get on the right track and avoid saying what you don’t intend to say, which could instead lead to more disagreements and a heated argument. Be sure to not just point out the problem or the root of your disagreement in a nice way, but also provide a solution or a compromise.

If it helps, write down your thoughts. This helps especially if you are angry with your partner over a recent argument. Getting your thoughts out on paper is a therapeutic way to reduce stress and help you organize your thoughts better, as well as avoid the urge to be negative.

Before the recommendation of psychology counsellor in Singapore, the both of you may try to resolve your issues by having a good conversation. This includes choosing a good time to talk. As much as possible, avoid discussing sensitive issues early in the morning or immediately after getting home from work – the best time might be when your partner is in a good mood, when you can easily set the stage for positive communication.

2. Find the core of the problem and focus on it

There are a lot of factors that could influence your partner/spouse’s negative responses, which can put your problem-solving skills to the test. Some of these could be:

• Your partner/spouse has experienced a traumatic or unpleasant event that has led him or her to be critical of some things in life
• Your partner/spouse could be unhappy with his/her job or something that may not have anything to do with you, and he/she is taking it out on you
• Your partner/spouse may be insecure about his/her job performance, physical performance, or financial independence, which can affect his/her self-confidence and self-esteem

When your partner is upset, try to stay positive as much as possible. It takes courage to be open and vulnerable, even when you disagree or are encountering problems yourself. Start the conversation by being honest with what you think and/or how you feel. However, do use your words carefully and avoid being brutally honest, as this could hurt your partner’s feelings.

You can set the stage for the conversation by being respectful and in turn ask kindly for that respect to be reciprocated. It is essential that you open yourself to the possibility of improvement – though this can hurt you emotionally, communication will be easier if you yourself are open to accept criticism as a way to improve.

One thing you should avoid at all costs is raising your voice or losing your temper, as this could end up in the two of you fighting and nowhere near coming to a resolution.

If you find yourself trying many times to communicate with your partner and he/she constantly avoids discussing the topic by changing it or the two of you end up fighting without resolving anything, you might need to schedule consultation for relationship counselling with a recommended psychologist. These Singapore psychologists can help provide guidance in marital problems.

3. Seek counselling

Sometimes, open communication may not always work, as your partner may be unwilling to look for a compromise no matter how much you try to be respectful and make your thoughts clear. In this case, seeking relationship counselling Singapore should be seen as a healthy option in order to resolve your differences and disagreements with your partner.

Relationship counselling Singapore may not exactly be something to look forward to at first given its stigma. The idea of therapy itself can be terrifying to you at first, and even more with your partner or spouse, but seeking help from a licensed psychologist in Singapore can be greatly beneficial to the two of you once you get past the initial dread.

A lot of individuals seek counselling from a psychologist recognize that they need help to face certain challenges in their lives. The same could also be said for married couples – every couple has their own rough times, after all, and sometimes the only way that certain problems can be resolved is by consulting a psychologist in Singapore.

Relationship counselling can be different that in some cases, it may just be between the psychologist and you, but other sessions can be joint sessions, many of which can either pass in silence or erupt into heated arguments. However, both instances should be seen as normal.

Couples can leave therapy with a renewed intimacy and a better understanding and openness to their partner. Seeking a counsellor or psychologist in Singapore can help you understand your underlying issues as well as discover any internal resources that could help strengthen your relationship.